This is not me right now. I currently have bed head, pajamas on, and a sling around my right arm. I’m dictating this into my phone and I am in so.much.pain. Apparently rollerskating with a group of nine-year-olds was not the best idea.
I have been in a heavy season full of growth and never quite connecting all the dots properly for a long while now. And while I have always been an optimistic glass is half-full person, this year I started thinking that my glass had a hole in it. I’ve experienced burn out and my laser focus has at times wavered for the first time in my life. I’m hyper driven, the physical embodiment of grit, and love what I do, but hustling too hard can damper that. People can be disappointing, things don’t always go as planned, when the challenges are great and they keep presenting themselves, when the mountains keep appearing, it can accumulate. Needless to say, I’ve been stuck.
Recently though, I have been regaining my clarity. I can see glimmers of the future emerging and it looks peaceful and sweet. Then I broke my wrist in two places! Here I am at the bottom of another mountain and in some moments, the challenge of that feels really frustrating. I’m tired of steep terrain, I’m tired of things being hard. I just want to sit, kingly on the top of one of these mountains, just to take in the view. Maybe that’s why my arm got broken.
A friend suggested that perhaps this time in my life is trying to teach me patience. Touché. And it’s true, this is where I am, no amount of wishing or doing can change that, and yes, it’s messy, and it hurts, but if I pause to look out my window I can see that the leaves are a beautiful vivid orange and that only occurs in this particular season. As is true in nature, I can count on another season being ushered in behind this one but right now I’m going to pause, right where I’m at, and see the beauty around me. How about you? What challenges are you looking to overcome these days? Let’s be encouragers to each other as we each navigate our own sometimes (okay oftentimes) messy paths towards who knows where. After all it’s about the journey not the destination, right? -Michelle